What is your experience of ‘worst case scenarios’?
I’m wondering if you have sometimes imagined the worst, and it hasn’t happened, or maybe it has and you have found the inner resources to cope?
Alternatively, maybe you feel the worst has happened, and it has been, or is, devastating.
Right now, I can think of a situation in my life when I was abandoned, and it felt like the worst had actually happened. It was as if I was walking around apparently ‘normally’ but with a hole the size of a large canon ball in my torso that no one could see or feel except me. At times I felt dazed and confused as if I were an onlooker looking in at my own life. During that period of time, I became ill, I couldn’t see the point of carrying on living and actually started to believe family and friends would be better off without me. I also went through some pretty extreme periods of agitation. You can tell, I’m sure, that I had hit a really low patch. I’m wondering then whether you have ever felt that the worst has happened to you?
I found the following things helped me to get through:
- Reaching out to family/friends/colleagues and/or getting professional help and/or help from a trusted church/synagogue/mosque official (or similar, according to your religious beliefs and need)
- Accepting I was not in the place to achieve lots of goals/tasks – letting go of everything non-essential
- Knowing and accepting that just getting through that ‘moment’ a bit at a time, was my main focus and that’s OK
- Talking to myself gently; acknowledging the depth of pain I was experiencing (self-validation)
- Telling myself gently, that even though I felt ‘rubbish’ I’m actually NOT rubbish
- Whenever I could, sticking to a structured, achievable, gentle daily routine
- Going out walking when I found it almost impossible to sit still/stay in
- When I felt at risk of hurting myself, I took myself to a place where I was less likely to hurt myself (e.g. a public place, to be with friends/colleagues/family/professionals, to a group event etc)
- Doing something calming and affirming, e.g., listening to music/podcast/radio etc, deep breathing, doing art/craft activities, sport, gardening etc
- Reminding myself that regardless of my feelings, I knew some people that cared about me and wanted to help (even when I couldn’t always receive their help due to my high levels of distress)
- Taking every opportunity to rest/sleep when I could
- Taking every opportunity to eat good food when I could
Here are some links to helpful places and information:
Samaritans: call 116 123 (any time, day or night)
Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen
Where to get urgent help for mental health – NHS (www.nhs.uk)
Mental Health Helpline for Urgent Help – NHS (www.nhs.uk)
10 Things To Remember When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom – LifeHack
Surviving Tough Times by Building Resilience – HelpGuide.org